My cellulite has been a plague on my miniskirt – and short-shorts – wearing habits since I gave birth to my third child and starting pigging out on every junk food in site.
While I haven’t exactly made it my life’s mission, finding effective ways of removing cellulite has become something of a preoccupation of mine. Even though there are a lot of products that claim to be completely effective at reducing cellulite, I haven’t really found anything that can cheaply and painlessly get rid of it -ALL of it- instantly. Then again, I have had some pretty good results.
Here are some things to consider when working on reducing or removing cellulite though:
Cellulite is Fat
Despite that, obesity or being overweight doesn’t necessarily mean that a person will automatically have cellulite. Sure, a lot of obese people have cellulite, but if you’re one of those lucky types, you won’t have to add orange peel butt to your weights woes as well.
Cellulite is fat cells in the skin’s connective tissue that have accumulated and pushed against it so that the skin in the area ripples and puckers. Like an orange. Or like the skin of a freshly plucked chicken. Or a badly made sponge cake.
In case you’re wondering, no, I don’t actually spend time thinking up unflattering similes for cellulite. It’s just that my cellulite really annoys me.
Cellulite Can be Found on Different Parts of the Body
Like most women, my cellulite was on my butt and thighs, where a lot of my body fat seems to have accumulated. Having cellulite in these areas might limit my summer clothing and swimwear options, but I guess I’ve still got it good compared to some other folks.
Some people have cellulite in other places, too: like their arms and bellies – that means no sleeveless shirts and no bikinis or low-cut jeans. Some people have a whole lot more of it than others – eep!
Forgive me if I indulge in a bit of schadenfreude here, but I’m glad I only have a bit of cellulite on my butt and thighs, and not all over, like a few unfortunates I know.
Anyone Can Get Cellulite
You don’t necessarily have to be fat to suffer from cellulite; I was actually pretty skinny at nineteen, but that didn’t change the fact that my backside looked like an irate golf ball even then. In fact, I’ve taken some rather… unscrupulous pleasure in discovering that without the protection of a graphic artist’s airbrush, even supermodels and Hollywood starlets can have cellulite.
In my research though, I discovered, much to my envy, that men are a lot less likely to have cellulite. There aren’t any solid scientific reasons for this, but it’s still the way it is. Lucky boys.
Ah well, at least we girls can still get multiple orgasms.
We Still Don’t Know What Really Causes Cellulite, or How to Completely Get Rid of It, Short of Surgery
Sure, modern science has brought man to the moon and found ways to create glow-in-the-dark pet fish using recombinant DNA, but it’s still puttering around trying to find ways to cure cellulite or get rid of cellulite’s orange peel ass effect without having to slice a person open.
We’re not even completely sure about how cellulite starts in the first place.
Some experts think that cellulite is caused by toxins in a person’s body; others think that it’s a hormonal – and therefore, a gender – issue, since women seem to comprise the bulk of cellulite’s unfortunate victims. Maybe it’s a combination of both.
Whatever the case may be, not knowing exactly what causes cellulite in the first place means that completely and reliably preventing or removing cellulite still isn’t a scientific reality.
There are Options for Removing Cellulite or Reducing Cellulite
Even if we can’t quite make cellulite go the way of smallpox or the dodo yet though, hope isn’t completely lost. These methods won’t always work, and some will be more effective for certain people and a complete waste of time and money for others, but at least they’re out there for you to check out:
Liposuction: Cellulite is fat. Therefore, getting rid of the fat
will get rid of your cellulite. The good thing about liposuction is that it removes the fat cells themselves, which means that it’s a lot less likely for the liposuctioned area to get fat again. This means that it’s also a lot less likely for you to get cellulite there as well. This is one of the most surefire ways to get rid of cellulite permanently.
Check with your doctor first though; liposuction might not be the best option for you and does come with some side effects.
Diet and Exercise: Yes, yes; a healthy diet and exercise are good for you. The diet and exercise combo solves a lot of problems; and it can play a big part in reducing cellulite. Keeping at this can get rid of any extra, unhealthy fat you might have in your body, which can, in turn, get rid of cellulite – since, like I’ve mentioned before, cellulite is fat.
Also, fruits and vegetables – like berries, spinach, and carrots – are great antioxidants and can really improve your skin and your circulation.
Moisturizers and Cellulite Creams: Even if cellulite happens below that top layer of the skin, a little moisturizer can really nourish your skin, which could actually go a long way in reducing cellulite – or at least, making it less visible. This is about all that most of those expensive cellulite creams can do. Even if these creams will claim to be effective in removing cellulite completely, try to take their claims with a grain of salt; they can only go so far.